INDEX |
| B.Sc.
CHEMICAL ENGINEERS |
| BULK
EARTHWORKS / ROADWORKS FOREMAN |
| CA
(SA) / FINANCIAL DIRECTOR |
| CHEMICAL
ENGINEER |
| CIVIL
ENGINEER / PROJECT ENGINEER |
| CONCRETE
FOREMAN (SENIOR) |
| CONTRACTS
ENGINEER |
| CREDIT
CONTROLLER (AA) |
| DATA
CAPTURER / ADMINISTRATOR (AA) |
| DEMAND
PLANNER / FORECASTER (AA) |
| ENGINEERING
MANAGER |
| ENGINEERING
MANAGER (SNR) |
| ESTIMATOR |
| EXPORTS
MANAGER / KEY ACCOUNTS MANAGER (AA) |
| FACILITIES
/ MAINTENANCE MANAGER |
| FITTER & TURNER
(AA) |
| HR
GENERALIST (AA) |
| INDUSTRIAL
SALES REPRESENTATIVE |
| LEGAL
ADVISOR (AA) |
| MAINTENANCE
MANAGER (AA) |
| MANAGEMENT
ACCOUNTANT |
| MECHANICAL
ENGINEER (SENIOR) |
| MINE
MANAGER / PROJECTS MANAGER |
| OPERATIONS
MANAGER (AA) |
| PACKAGING
REPRESENTATIVE |
| PROCESS
CONTROLLER (SENIOR) (AA) |
| PROCUREMENT
MANAGER (AA) |
| PRODUCTION
MANAGER |
| PRODUCTION
MANAGER (AA) |
| PROJECT
ENGINEER (AA) |
| PROJECT
MANAGER (AA) |
| QUALITY & SAFETY
MANAGER |
| RISK
MANAGER - MINING |
| SALES & EXPORT
MANAGER (AA) |
| SALES
ENGINEER (1) |
| SALES
ENGINEER (2) |
| SALES
ENGINEER (AA) |
| SALES
REPRESENTATIVE (AA) |
| SITE
ENGINEER |
| STORES
/ INTERNAL SALES (AA) |
| TECHNICAL
SALES REPRESENTATIVE |
| TECHNICAL
SALES REPRESENTATIVE (AA) |
| TRAINING
MANAGER |
| TREASURY
ACCOUNTANT (AA) |
| WORKS
MANAGER |
| WORKSHOP
MANAGER |
Mother
Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I
must tell you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in
the convent."
"Thank God," says an elderly nun in the back, "I'm
so tired of Chardonnay!"
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group
and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing
the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to
soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a
pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood.....big,
stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants,
and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. He really, really
has to go, after all those Guinness's. He finds a narrow
side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings
and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As
he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London
Bobbie, who says, "I say,
sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but
I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public
restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie..."Just follow
me".
He
leads him to a back delivery alley", then along
a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points
the Bobbie. "Whiz away,...anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful
garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary,
fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers,
all in perfect bloom. Since he has the cop's blessing, he
unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As
he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobbie "That
was really decent of you ....is that "British Hospitality
?"
"No" replied the Bobbie, with a satisfied smile
on his face, "That's the French Embassy."
Mr. Smith is waiting for the results of his wife's blood
tests. The lab technician finally comes into the waiting
room to speak with him.
The
lab tech says, "I'm sorry,
sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a
problem. When we sent the
samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another
Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which
test results are your wife's. Frankly, it's either bad or
terrible!"
"What
do you mean?"
"Well,
one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's and
the other Mrs. Smith has tested
positive for AIDS. We
can't tell which is your wife."
"That's
terrible! Can we do the test over?"
"Normally,
yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these
expensive tests more
than once."
"Well,
what am I supposed to do now?"
"The
HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle
of town. If she remembers
the way home, don't
sleep with her."
A
couple drove their car to the supermarket, only to
have their car break
down in the car park.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while
he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near
the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs
protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although
the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his
private parts into glaringly public ones..
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped
forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything
back into place.
On
regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and looked
right into the eyes of her husband
who was standing idly by watching.
The AA mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in
his forehead.......
"All
I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I
want, for as long as I want,
and then go away or
wait nearby like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when
needed."
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something
nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to
buy her a cell phone.
He
showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Meg
was excited to receive the gift and simply
adored her new phone.
The
next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband
on the other end. "Hi Meg," he said, "how
do you like your new phone?"
Meg
replied, "I just love it!
It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's
one thing I don't understand
though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked
her husband.
"How
did you know I was at Pick N Pay?"
A
group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story
hotel
with a sign
that reads: "For Women Only."
Since
they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide
to go in. The
bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it
works. "We
have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find
what you are looking for, you can stay there.
It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you
what's inside."
So
they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All
the men on this floor are short and plain."
The
friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next
floor. The
sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here
are short and handsome."
Still,
this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They
reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All
the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are
still two floors left, they continued on up.
On
the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the
men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited
and are going in when they realize that there is still one
floor left.
Wondering
what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There
they find a sign that reads: "There are no men
here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no
way to please a woman."
Five
secrets of a perfect Relationship
1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home,
cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s
important to have a woman you can trust and who would
never lie.
4. It`s
important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes
being with you.
5. It`s
absolutely vital that these four women don`t
know each other...
An Old Jamaican man lived alone in the country. He wanted
to dig his Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden , but it was
very hard work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The
old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament, "Dear
Vincent, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like
I won't be able to plant my Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato
Garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging
up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would
be over and I know you would be happy to dig the plot for
me....Love, Dad." A few days later he received a letter from his son:
"Dear
Dad, Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the
bodies....Love,
Vinnie"
At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police
arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the
old man received another letter from his son:
"Dear
Dad, Go ahead and plant the Yams and Potatoes now. That's
the best I could do under the circumstances.... Love, Vinnie"
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family
ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial
trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch,
they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed
their own
stock.
Upon
leaving to buy a bull, the brunette tells her sister,
'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact
you
to
drive
out after me and
haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull,
and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he
will sell it
for $599, no less.
After
paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want
to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought
a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to
our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.' The
telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help
her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word. Well, after
paying for the bull, the
brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister
one word.
After
a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you
to send her the word comfortable.'
The
operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know
that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup
truck and drive out
here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her
just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is
big. She'll
read it very slowly..... 'com-for-da-bul.'
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
" I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
" Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor
asks him how he is feeling.
"I've
got an eighteen-year old bride who's pregnant with my child.
What do you think about that?"
The
Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, "Well,
let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter.
He never misses a season.
But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally
grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots
a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his
umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle.
BAM !
The beaver drops dead in front of him.
"That's impossible!", says the old man in disbelief, "Someone
else must have shot that beaver."
The
Doctor says, "My
point exactly."
Two old men, one a retired professor of psychology and the
other a retired professor of history, were sitting around on
the porch of the hotel watching the sun to set.
The
history professor said to the psychology professor, "Have
you read Marx?"
To
which the professor of psychology said, "Yes. I
think they're from the wicker chairs."
A
junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their
way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonderful
lamp. They
rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The
ghost says, "Normally,
one is granted three wishes but as there are
three of you, I will only allow one wish each."
So the eager senior manager
shouted, "I want the first
wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pfufffff.
and he was
gone.
Now
the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I
want to be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and
cocktails."
Pfufffff.
and
he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I
want these two idiots back in the office after
lunch at 12.35pm ."
MORAL
OF THE STORY
"Always
allow the Boss to speak first."
|
x
|
|
B.Sc.
CHEMICAL ENGINEERS – Salary negotiable.
After a recent recruitment drive for one of our clients we have
6 good B.Sc. Chemical Engineering Graduates on our books. Two
of the applicants are in fact currently completing their Masters
and have been on the Dean's List (which recognises the top 10%
of students in each degree provided a minimum average mark of
70% is reached), at university. All of the applicants have been
fully referenced and this gives some insight into each applicant.
Click
to receive more detail
BULK
EARTHWORKS / ROADWORKS FOREMAN – R450K
per annum + perks.
- Matric.
- 16 years in the Construction industry.
- Bulk earthworks – boxing – roadbed – G5, SSG
layers – stabilisations –remix etc.
- This gentleman started his career 16 years
ago as a Junior Grader Operator and progressed
through
the years to Bulk Earthworks
and Roadworks Foreman.
- Available immediately!.
Click
to receive more detail
CA
(SA) / FINANCIAL DIRECTOR – R1.3 million per annum..
- CA (SA) – B.Comm.
(Hons) and PGDA * GTA.
- Passed the Board on his first attempt.
- Over 13 years experience in the financial arena.
- Financial management – forex, treasury and I.T. systems– people
leadership and management skills.
- High standard of confidentiality and integrity – ability
to think out the box.
Click
to receive more detail
CHEMICAL
ENGINEER – Negotiable salary.
- B.Sc. Chemical Engineer who is busy completing his Masters.
- Straight graduate with 3 years mini-plant exposure.
- 2 years supervisory exposure where he organised sub-ordinates,
organised materials, ran the process and evaluated
results.
- A confident, analytical Chemical Engineer who is keen
to secure an opening into a plant environment.
Click
to receive more detail
CIVIL
ENGINEER / PROJECT ENGINEER – R646K per
annum CTC.
- B.Eng. (Civil
Engineering ) – Diploma Business Administration – ECSA – SAICE.
- 10 years project engineering experience.
- Project management – construction, engineering and mining
projects.
- A strategic decision planner – extensive technical knowledge – EPCM
projects –geotechnical – infrastructure development,
pipeline and pumping designs.
Click
to receive more detail
CONCRETE
FOREMAN (SENIOR) – R560K per annum.
- Matric + plenty courses e.g. Road Stabilisation, Scaffolding
,Concrete etc.
- 15 years experience in the Construction industry.
- Bulk concrete works e.g. constructing of bridges, concrete
dams, water purifiers, separator units etc.
- A top candidate. Stable work record, quality of work is
superb!
Click
to receive more detail
CONTRACTS
ENGINEER – R650K per annum.
- N6 (Equivalent):
Fabrication & Welding – MDP
(UNISA).
- 25+ years experience.
- Wide range of project experience including fabrication, construction
and commissioning, both locally and in the Middle East.
- No nonsense attitude, prepared to travel.
Click
to receive more detail
CREDIT
CONTROLLER (AA) – R13K per month + benefits.
- Matric – Diploma
: Accounting (Purchasing Diploma).
- 9 years
experience.
- JDE – Accpac – Pastel – Opera – Word – Excel – SUN
425.
- Full function in credit control
- Thrives under pressure – good communication – reconciliations – local
and international accounts.
- Very diligent – goes the extra mile – well organised – pro-active – always
up to date – very reliable.
Click
to receive more detail
DATA
CAPTURER / ADMINISTRATOR (AA) – R200K per annum CTC.
- 4 year Certificate in Logistics/Procurement.
- 6 years in the Banking environment.
- Data capture – SAP – Payroll – Tracing payments
etc.
- A disable AA candidate who would like to enter the field
of her studies (Logistics/Procurement).
Click
to receive more detail
DEMAND
PLANNER / FORECASTER (AA) – R560K per annum.
- Matric – Diploma : Supply Chain & Master Resource
Planning – Road Transport.
- 20 years experience.
- Demand planning – forecasting – pharmaceutical industry – distribution – sales – operational
management.
- Good experience – very proficient – good client interaction – precise
and efficient.
Click
to receive more detail
ENGINEERING MANAGER – R 750K per annum.
- GCC – Mechanical and Electrical – National ‘N’ Diplomas:
Electrical and Mechanical.
- 14 years process/production plant experience.
- Has moved up through the ranks from a Millwright, to a Section
Engineer to Engineering and Maintenance Manager to Project
Office Manager.
- Has gained almost 9 years management experience with up
to 70 staff reporting in.
- A dynamic young Engineer who has a proven history of
achieving coupled with a good track record.
Click
to receive more detail
ENGINEERING
MANAGER (SNR) – R1.1
million per annum CTC.
- Mechanical
Diplomat – G.C.C.
- 20 years experience, 14 as Engineering Manager in Metal Processing.
- TPM – capital projects – continuous improvement – audits
and assessments.
- Meticulous, driven personality – Gauteng based (will not
relocate).
Click
to receive more detail
.ESTIMATOR – R650K
per annum (excluding bonuses)
- Matric
- 13 years in Civil Engineering.
- An experienced Estimator who specialises in the following:
Roadworks – Earthworks – Bridges – Pipelines – Pump
stations – Concrete Reservoirs etc.
- This
candidate will provide you with professionalism, being not
only knowledgeable with experience in his field, but
also a person
who is approachable.
Click
to receive more detail
EXPORTS
MANAGER / KEY ACCOUNTS MANAGER (AA) – R650K per
annum CTC.
- Science Technology – Bio-technology – Export
Management qualifications.
- Almost 30 years experience in the FMCG industry.
- Sales and export inside and outside the SA borders.
- An extremely experienced AA gent in the FMCG industry who
is willing to travel extensively throughout Africa.
Click
to receive more detail
FACILITIES/MAINTENANCE
MANAGER – R780K per annum CTC
- National
Diploma (N6) Electrical – Wireman’s – Refrigeration
- 20 years experience.
- Contractors – budget control – safety – work
flow planning – technical maintenance – continuous
communication.
- Excellent track record. Quality applicant, reliable and hard
working.
Click
to receive more detail
FITTER & TURNER (AA) – R230K
per annum CTC.
- N3 – Trade
tested.
- 11 years Fitting & Turning experience.
- Fault finding – turning – milling – welding – fitting.
- An AA applicant who is willing to work shifts and is available
immediately.
Click
to receive more detail
HR GENERALIST (AA) –R230K per annum CTC.
- B.Comm. (Human Resources).
- 22 years in the Mining industry.
- HR/IR – recruitment and selection – Union matters.
- An AA applicant with extensive experience in the HR and Mining
fields who received an excellent reference.
- Candidate took a sabbatical and would now like to once
again utilise his extensive Mining/HR experience.
Click
to receive more detail
INDUSTRIAL SALES REPRESENTATIVE – Good basic + commission.
- Matric.
- 5 years industrial sales experience.
- Target orientated. Builds excellent customer relations – wide
range of mechanical and electrical products.
- References indicate a self motivated candidate with a positive
attitude.
Click
to receive more detail
LEGAL
ADVISOR (AA) – R661K
per annum CTC.
- B.Juris / LLB Degree.
- 11 years experience.
- Legal advice – vetting – drafting – negotiating
commercial contracts – civil litigation – commercial
law
- Very professional and experienced – good knowledge of SA
Legislative framework
Click
to receive more detail
MAINTENANCE
MANAGER (AA) – R780K per annum CTC.
- Excellent reference.
- 29
year old AA Engineer with B.Tech. (Mech) and Project Programme
(NQF8) who started as a Marine Engineer before gaining manufacturing
and plant maintenance and project experience
- Now operating
at Senior Management level.
Click
to receive more detail
MANAGEMENT
ACCOUNTANT – R44K
per month CTC.
- B.Com. (Honours) – Financial
Management and Accounting.
- 15 years experience.
- Strong as an analytical thinker – good business acumen – communicator – figures
orientated – attention to detail – SAP R3.
- Very competent, good track record, computer literate, hard,
reliable, adds value.
Click
to receive more detail
MECHANICAL
ENGINEER (SENIOR) – R550K per annum CTC.
- B.Eng. Mechanical Engineering.
- 4 years in the Petrochemical/Gas industries
- Pipelines experience.
- A
young candidate with lots of pipeline exposure who is willing
to relocate to the Cape.
Click
to receive more detail
MINE
MANAGER / PROJECTS MANAGER – R600K per annum.
- B.Tech. Graduate – Diploma in Mining Engineering – Certificates
of Competencies.
- Mine Managers Certificate – Project Management – Mining
Blasting Certificate
- Over 10 years mining experience.
- Reaching production targets and safety – mine planning
and strategy – managing all capital projects.
Click
to receive more detail
OPERATIONS
MANAGER (AA) – R510K per annum CTC.
- So much success, and only 34 years old.
- A top AA candidate with B.Tech. (Chem. Eng) and MBA (2009).
- Worked his way up from Maintenance, to Shift Leader, to Quality
Manager and then Engineering Manager all in the FMCG sector.
- Last 4 years in the engineering sector, involved in Production
and Logistics.
Click
to receive more detail
PACKAGING
REPRESENTATIVE – R500K
per annum CTC.
- HND : Supply Chain Management.
- 15 years Packaging experience.
- Rigids and flexible, PE, PET, PS, laminates and printing
experience.
- Clients have included major chains, cosmetics and industrial
- This is a top flight candidate.
Click
to receive more detail
PROCESS
CONTROLLER (SENIOR) (AA) – R25K per month.
- Matric – Production
Supervision Certificate.
- 14 years manganese and steel experience.
- Furnaces, shift supervision
- AA, solid citizen. Good references.
- Wants to
relocate to Gauteng or Vaal Triangle.
Click
to receive more detail
PROCUREMENT
MANAGER (AA) – R450K per annum CTC.
- Matric – B.Comm
- Very computer literate, strong on inventory systems.
- Procurement– cost saving – planning, supply chain
improvement, BEE scorecard, Manufacturing (mechanical) exp..
- Extremely competent – committed – meticulous – thorough – strong,
firm character – very professional.
Click
to receive more detail
PRODUCTION
MANAGER – R750K.
- Only 2 jobs
since 1990!
- In his mid
40’s, this B.Eng. (Mech)
Graduate has spent all his working years in the heavy engineering/capital
equipment manufacturing sector.
- Lean manufacturing / MRP / SAP . Maint / Re-eng. / Product
support / tenders / budgets / projects – an outstanding all-rounder.
Click
to receive more detail
PRODUCTION
MANAGER (AA) – R500K per annum CTC.
- Very motivated 31 year old AA candidate with PMI B.Sc. (Ind.
Tech) NQF7 and H.Dip (Ops. Mngt) NQF6 and 7 years FMCG/ durables
manufacturing experience (planning / logistics / production /
operations / optimisation).
Click
to receive more detail
PROJECT
ENGINEER (AA) – R33K
per month
- B.Sc. (Mechanical) – GCC.
- 5 years experience.
- FMCG / Manufacturing / Engineering experience.
- A bright, young AA B.Sc. Graduate Engineer with high energy
levels. A forward and lateral thinker.
Click
to receive more detail
PROJECT
MANAGER (AA) – R1.4
million per annum.
- B.Sc. (Hons)
Mechanical – GCC (Factories – GCC
(Mining)
- 25 years petrochemical, mining, gas, maritime experience)
- Excellent knowledge of engineering, production, mining, projects.
- Top level professional applicant – excellent management
skills – high business acumen – an above average
candidate.
Click
to receive more detail
QUALITY & SAFETY MANAGER – R19 000
per month x 13 + pension.
- A Certified Quality Technician with many courses to his credit.
- 16 years experience.
- An organised administrator and forward planner with good
communication skills.
- A loyal and stable worker with 12 years working for one
company.
Click
to receive more detail
RISK
MANAGER – MINING – R585K per annum + car + bursary.
- M.Sc. (Eng)
Degree – B.Sc. (Hons) Metallurgy – Advanced
Safety Management (SPIMM) (ECSA).
- 10 years Mining and Risk management experience.
- Risk management – project execution plans – integrated
engineering and project function management.
- Definitely the person you want handling your risk management.
- Excellent management and planning skills.
Click
to receive more detail
SALES & EXPORT MANAGER (AA) – R450K
per annum CTC.
- Matric – Diploma : Commerce – Diploma
: SA Association of Freight.
16 years experience.
- Logistics – shipping – freight – sales and
marketing – supply chain – international communication – key
accounts management.
- Calm and collective under pressure – very competent and
reliable.
Click
to receive more detail
SALES
ENGINEER – R360K
per month + benefits.
- N3, Diploma in Marketing, BBA (USA).
- 20
years experience.
- Sales, marketing, tenders, contracts, main clients servicing
in the Mining industry, electric motors, fans, pumps and
power transmission.
- Good positive, experienced sales communicator.
Click
to receive more detail
SALES
ENGINEER – R360K
per month.
- Matric, N4,
Trade tested Fitter & Turner, NVC Diploma
- 20 year s experience.
- Mining industry experience, valves, pumps, filtration systems,
piping.
- Strong, confident Sales Engineer within the Mining industry.
Click
to receive more detail
SALES
ENGINEER (AA) – R45K
per month
- B.Sc. (Honours) chemistry.
- 21 years experience.
- Sales – marketing – metallurgy – steel manufacturing
environment – mining industry – plant management – Products
Engineer.
- Excellent track record – stable and reliable, good experience.
Click
to receive more detail
SALES
REPRESENTATIVE (AA) – R10 500 per month CTC.
- B.Tech. : Marketing.
- 6 years experience – 2 years in external sales.
- Abrasive sales.
- 30
year old AA applicant, residing in Gauteng – own client
base.
Click
to receive more detail
SITE
ENGINEER – R350K
per annum CTC.
- HND:
Civil Engineering and various courses.
- 10 years
experience within the Civil, Earthworks, Roadworks etc.,
industries.
- Over 10
years experience as a Civil Engineer with practical/construction
experience in Roads, Earthworks, Stormwater pipes, culverts
etc.
- Ordering
of materials to site – vast knowledge of preparation
of Bills of Quantity from setting out to completion, weekly
and monthly costing, quantities, site planning etc.
- This candidate
has extensive experience, management and the ability to co-ordinate,
lead large site teams and liaise
with Foremen,
Sub-contractors etc.
- Computer
literate in MS Word, Excel, PageMaker and CorelDraw.
Click
to receive more detail
STORES
/ INTERNAL SALES (AA) – R150K per annum CTC
- NQF4 – Customer
Management, Supervisory Development Certificate.
- 13 years
experience in the Engineering industry.
- Stores,
sales, despatch, stock control.
- A very
stable, AA applicant who is available immediately as his
previous company has closed down.
Click
to receive more detail
TECHNICAL
SALES REPRESENTATIVE – R20K + commission +
car + benefits.
- B.Comm.
Business Management (2 exams to complete).
- 15 years
expedience.
- Specialises
in capital equipment and mining equipment.
- Has excellent
experience calling on mines – North West,
Free State, Northern Cape, Gauteng and Carletonville.
- Rustenburg
based.
Click
to receive more detail
TECHNICAL
SALES REPRESENTATIVE (AA) – R12 500 per month
+ vehicle + comm.
- Matric – 3M
Sales training and product training.
- 4 years
experience (engineering plastics applications).
- Tall,
well presented, numerate and technically well versed.
Click
to receive more detail
TRAINING
MANAGER – R25K
per month CTC.
- Maccauvlei
Training, equivalent to B.Tech.
- 12 years
experience.
- Presentations – facilitation – management
skills- R & D.
- “
...She keeps in touch with updates and new releases and is on
top of the ball...” is how her referee described her.
Click
to receive more detail
TREASURY
ACCOUNTANT (AA) – R13 600 per month CTC.
- Part B.Com. – Association
of Chartered Certified Accountants Certificate.
- 6 years
experience – 2 years Treasury experience.
- Group cashflows – forex – authorisation – creditors – asset
transfers – reconciliations – journals – financial
reporting.
- Confident,
articulate, professional – AA/EE – late
20’s.
Click
to receive more detail
WORKS
MANAGER – R840K per annum CTC.
- GCC – B.Sc.
/ Mechanical Engineer / MBA / MDP Project Management.
- 20 years
experience.
- Heavy engineering
production and maintenance management – projects – IR.
- Forceful
personality – good IR/negotiation – late
40’s.
- Available
immediately – relocateable.
Click
to receive more detail
WORKSHOP
MANAGER – R650K per annum CTC.
- Technical
tertiary qualification
- 26 years
experience in the Civil and Engineering fields. Strong
on steel fabrication.
- Development
work – pressure vessels, boilers, fans etc.
- Material
procurement and planning – welding – ISO
9001 & 2000 ,as well as ISO 14001 & 18001 (Health & Safety)
- Reads Technical
drawings.
- A wealth
of experience to offer! This candidate qualified as
a Boilermaker.
- Very hands-on,
solid candidate who has supervised a large number of artisans.
Click
to receive more detail
AND FINALLY ....
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending
his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even
remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling,
he knew he must have done something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing
he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the
side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up
and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in
the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the
corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it
and a kiss
mark from his wife in Lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you,
darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also
at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last
night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your
mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you
puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into
the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on
the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave
me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table: R500. Hot Breakfast: R25. Two Aspirins:
R2
Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!
|
|
QUICK
QUESTIONS
1)
Where did the common "military salute" get its
start?
2)
Which actor was reported last of having been the target
of an Al-Queada kidnap plot in 2001?
3)
Which two continents does the Bosphorus link?
4)
Who, upon splitting with her partner said, "At least
I can wear high heels now."?
5)
Who said of Mick Jagger, "I'm sure he'll find someone
else to be unfaithful to soon."?
6)
Where would you find Mare Imbrium?
7)
Which great jazz musician had the nickname "Satchmo"?
8)
Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice in Wonderland, was actually
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, an Oxford University lecturer
in what field?
9)
In the days of chivalry, when a knight referred to his "destrier" and
a lady to her "palfrey", what were they were
both talking about?
10)
What is the largest city in Canada?
HOW
DOES THAT HAPPEN?
1)
Write down the number of the month you were born
2) Multiply it by 4
3) Add 13
4) Multiply the result by 25
5) Subtract 200
6) Add the day of the month on which you were born
7) Multiply by 2
8) Subtract 40
9) Multiply the result by 50
10) Add the last two digits of the year of your birth
11) Finally, subtract 10,500
Is
that your birth date?
and
...
1)
What are the first 3 digits of your phone number? (do NOT
include the area code)
2) Multiply by 80
3) Add 1
4) Multiply by 250
5) Add in the last four digits of phone number
6) Add in the last four digits of phone number again
7) Subtract 250
8) Divide by 2.
...thats
your phone number?
Name
an English word of more than 2 letters that both begins
and ends with the letters 'he' (in that order). (Actually,
there are two possible correct answers -- and "hehe" is
not an acceptable solution.)
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, and the only
food she had for her ten
children was six potatoes.
How did she make sure that each child had an equal share?
Thomas
Jefferson and John Adams, who were friends during life,
died within hours of each other on July 4, 1826. Exactly
50 years to the day after the signing of the Declaration
of Independance.
Jefferson
was at his home in Virginia, and Adams was at his home
in Massachusetts. Americans were fascinated by the coincidence
and read great meaning into it.
John
Quincy Adams, who was President at the time as well as
being son of John Adams, declared the twin deaths to be
a 'visible and palpable' sign of heavenly favor. Their
work was done, it was thought. So they departed together
into the afterlife, fifty years to the day after founding
the country.
RIDDLE
Pronounced
as one letter but written with three,
two different letters there are and two only in me.
I'm double, I'm single I'm black, blue, and gray.
I'm read from both ends and the same either way.
What
is it that goes with an automobile and comes with it; is
of no use to it, and yet the automobile cannot move without
it?
There
is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the
action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses
himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now
if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses,
how should he express himself?
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a
highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder.
She
offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully
munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder
again and she hands him another handful of almonds.
She repeats this
gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they
don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she replies
that it
is not possible because of their old teeth, they
are not able
to chew them.
"Why do you buy them then?" he asks
puzzled.
The
old lady answers, "We just
love the chocolate around them."
Can
you translate these well known proverbs?
1)
A red fruit of the Maius family absorbed into the digestive
system every 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds, keeps a physician
from your presence.
2)
It is more desirable to arrive in the medium of time which
constitutes a later than desirable hour or date than not
to arrive at all.
3)
That which is acquired without difficulty is dispersed
with equal facility.
4)
A maximum amount of purposeful activity and a minimum amount
of disport and dalliance cause Jack to become a dim-witted,
stagnant dunce of the male species.
5)
Lack of what is required is the matriarch of inspiration.
6)
Allow somnolent quadrupeds that are homo sapien's greatest
comrades to remain reclining.
7)
Perambulate in moccasins, and shoulder a gargantuan wooden
rail.
8)
Hemoglobin is more viscous than H2O
9)
One more than one is a congenial group of invited guests,
but one more than two is a multitude.
10)
A ferrous alloy rope fashioned of interlocking loops is
only as hearty as its least potent section.
A
father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He
read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife
and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and
was turned to salt."
His
son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
What
is the shortest complete sentence in the English language?
Remember
to be a sentence it must have at least one noun and one
verb in it.
A
man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does
this bar serve lawyers?"
"Of
course we do," replied the bartender.
"Great," said
the man, "I'd like a beer, and give me a lawyer for
my gator."
What
is very unusual about the following words?
BOUGH
COUGH
DOUGH
ROUGH
THROUGH
After
Albert Einstein had been at Princeton for some months,
local news hounds discovered that a twelve-year-old girl
happened to stop by the Einstein home almost every afternoon.
The
girl's mother hadn't thought to ask Einstein
about the situation until the newspapers reported it,
but when she
got the opportunity after that she did so.
What
could her daughter and Einstein have in common
that they spent so much time together?
Einstein
replied simply, "She brings me cookies
and I I do her arithmetic homework."
A
group of soldiers were standing in the blistering sun facing
due west. Their sergeant shouted at them:
Right
turn!
About
turn!
Left
turn!
In
which direction are they now facing?
In
1500 B.C. in Egypt a shaved head was considered the ultimate
in feminine beauty. Egyptian women removed every hair from
their heads with special gold tweezers and polished their scalps
to a high sheen with buffing cloths.
If
you were hired to paint the numbers on all the doors in
an office building and there were 100 doors in the building,
how many times will you have to paint the number nine?
Most
elephants weigh less than the tongue of the blue whale
If
coast is spelled C-O-A-S-T and roast is spelled R-O-A-S-T
and most is spelled M-O-S-T . Then how do you spell what
goes into a toaster?
A
duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,"Got
any fresh fruit?" "No."
"Got
any fresh vegetables?" "No. We have only canned
and dry goods."
The
next day, the duck returns." Got any fresh fruit?" "No."
"Got
any fresh vegetables?" "No. I told you yesterday,
we have only canned and dry goods. If you come back tomorrow
and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers
to the floor."
On
the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks,"Got any
nails?" "No."
"Got
any fresh fruit?"
What is the only four-letter word which, when CAPITALIZED,
looks the same
from the front, back, above and below?
How
may f's are in the following sentence?
FINISHED
FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED
WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
After
being in a coma for two weeks, Granny Smith died on May
20, 1995.
Candy Care was trying to comfort Granny's grandson,
Smitty. "Listen, Smitty," said Candy, "this
couldn't have come as a great shock."
"No, it wasn't," said Smitty. "The
big upset is Granny's will. My cousin, Sid Shady, says
that
according to her latest will, he's going to inherit
the entire estate. Granny made a will four years ago
and
showed it to me at that time. It said that upon her
death, I was
to inherit 90% of her estate and my cousin Shady was
to get the rest."
Candy
examined a photocopy of the new will Shady produced.
It was dated
May 10, 1995, and stated that Shady was to
inherit the entire estate. It was signed by Granny
Smith and two witnesses. "This is a fake!" declared
Candy.
A dog had three puppies, names Mopsy, Topsy, and Spot.
What was the mother's name.
1)
What does it mean if your shoes squeak?
2)
You will know you will soon get money if what drops on
you?
3)
This rhyme had its roots in sense. Why?
"If
you wish to live and thrive
Let the spider run alive "
4)
To have a good month what must you say on the first day
of the month?
5)
If you see a cat sneezing, what is going to happen?
DID YOU KNOW?
Picasso's
full name was:
Pablo
Diego Jose Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno de los Remedios
Cipriano de la Santisma Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso
The following puzzle consists of a proverb
with all its vowels removed. The remaining
letters have been broken into groups
of four. Put back the vowels to find the proverb.
FLND HSMN YRSN PRTD.
This is an actual radio conversation between a United States
Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian
authorities off the coast off Newfoundland in October 1995.
(The radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval
Operations on 10/10/95 as authorized by the Freedom of Information
Act.)
CANADIANS:
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid
a collision.
AMERICANS:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North
to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS:
Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees
to the South to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS:
This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.
CANADIANS:
No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS:
This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln. The second largest
ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are
accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and
numerous support
vessels. I demand that you change your course15 degrees
north ...
I say again ... That's one-five degrees north .... or counter-measures
will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship!
CANADIANS:
We are a lighthouse. Your call.
|
|
